Hey there!

What do you know? More Jorge comics are up. Two more, in fact. How fucking gracious of me, am I right? Usually, webcomic-makers only give (approximately) one comic every three days, or a half of a comic, or in some cases just a fraction of a half of a  really shitty comic. I'm all about giving as much comic as I can possibly give of the greatest comic content you could ever read, because that's just how selfless I am. (You're welcome! Speaking of you're welcome, there's a donate button at the tip-top of the page. You'll know it because it says "Please Donate!" real desperate-like.)

As you've no doubt realized, this storyline is leading up to Jorge Jackson actually physically going to Hollywood, per the title of the comic itself. Forgive me if I've spoiled it for you. After the initial storyline is finished, which will be a little while, there will be various Jorge story arcs with more conventional punchline-based, non-storyline strips strewn throughout.

I really wanted to post some kind of...commentary on some kind of...news item in the world today. But frankly, I'm pretty sure nothing of import or interest is happening on the Friday before Halloween. So, maybe next time.

 Doggedly yours,

 Benjamin Andrew Moore

UPDATE: No worthwhile news besides, of course, the fact that we're going to get a public option. Frankly, I welcome, nay, want, nay, need an opt-out clause for the states that don't want them. Texas, for example. Please, opt-out. Opt right the hell out and never opt-in again. Still, I feel bad for all the Hispanics down there that got saddled with the super assholes. Sorry, Hispanics. You're welcome to join the United States of America once Texas secedes (which I also welcome/want/need).

I told everybody I ever met over the last couple years that I was bringing Worthless back from the grave. In no particular order, I told my “friends,” my family, my girlfriend, my doctor, my dentist, my collection of Star Wars action figurines, complete and utter goddamned strangers, strippers, cabbies, CTA and MTA workers, Amtrak ticket-takers, various talking animals, hipsters, yuppies, yupsters, pretentious types (perhaps these last four are redundant), the ghost of Jack Kirby, and all the rest. Everybody, everywhere.

And not a single one of you believed me. Not a single one of you had faith. How embarrassing for you.

NEW WORTHLESS FEATURES!

•A brand-spanking new webcomic in the form of Jorge Jackson Goes to Hollywood. (Click for the first of five new strips.) Who is Jorge Jackson? Learn all about him by reading A History of Jorge Jackson. Go to his section of the website, with links to his Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, et cetera, here. (Or just click on the Jorge tab up-top.) The format of Jorge's comic isn't exactly the same as Classic Worthless, but it's not entirely different either. Instead of navigating from comic to comic, you'll be navigating each comic from panel-to-panel. The hilarity is more surprising that way. Artistically, I'd say it's a bit more advanced if slightly less cartoonish. More Jorge Jackson Goes to Hollywood comics are coming soon, so stay tuned...

•The Classic Worthless archive is back up and can be found here, or via the Archive tab to your left. So, too, can the grand and beautiful STORY GUIDE. Also, considering I never finished that final Worthless story (four in one, actually), I'm promising here and now that I'll be doing that for you. But mostly for myself. Either way, it's going to happen. Just like I promised everybody I ever met over the past couple years that I was bringing Worthless back, I'm promising to finish that last Worthless story—only this time I'll do it much quicker than three years.

•Speaking of the Classic Worthless archive, I sort of went “George Lucas” all over a lot of the old comics, for various reasons. (Going “George Lucas” all over something isn't as sexual as it sounds. Rather, it means you went back to your old creative work and changed or added something to it, much like George Lucas himself did with the Star Wars trilogy, time and again. Steven Spielberg, Ridley Scott, Soviet Russia, and Walt Disney's frozen corpse also did this, to varying results.)  Most of the changes to the comics were small and vaguely cosmetic, thus you probably even won't notice the difference. That is, if you ever read the original comics in the first place. Some of what I changed was entirely cosmetic, by which I mean I redrew the entire goddamn thing, but otherwise didn't change the comic. I think I only did this once. Some of the changes involved adding a comma or a capital letter D in place of a small letter d—that kind of bullshit. Then there's Tales Through Time!, which didn't “change” so much as “get more demons in the background of a couple strips.” But perhaps the most drastic changes were made in the Return of the Draft storyline, where I replaced a single crappy comic with several much more awesome comics (here, here, here, here, here, and here).

(Unlike George Lucas, however, who tries very hard indeed to hide the Original Trilogy from the light of day, the original comics will be readily available upon request. Send me an email about a particular comic you want to see and I'll put it up and link to it via this, the main page and commentary. Unless I really don't want to or something.)

•On the Extras page, you'll notice that there are links to several different pages. First, Videos: all my videos, from my short films to my web-videos to any vlogs I decide to make in the future, can or will be found on this page. (When I say “all,” I mean “all” the videos that can be legally uploaded to the American Internet.) Second, Links: this shit is pretty self-explanatory. I've linked to a bunch of websites that I like here. I hope you're familiar with this concept, because I'm not your mother. Third, Reviews: at the moment, I've just got the reviews I wrote for CenterstageChicago.com, the Sun-Times entertainment website (I always feel like I have to slip that in) I used to work for, but sometime soon there will also be reviews of movies, comic books, videogames, television series, music albums, and perhaps even other webcomics. Fourth, Features: right now this section has all the articles I did for CenterstageChicago.com. In the future, I have to imagine I'll post other things here, but as for what those things'll be, I don't have a clue at the moment. Essays, maybe? I don't know. Let's just say essays for now. Fifth, Misc.: this is where I have put and will be putting all the miscellaneous creative crap I do. Stories, photography, art work, you name it, it's going here. Keep an eye on this one, it might be my favorite of the Extras.

•The forums are for foruming. Seriously, you've never been on an internet forum before? It's a place you can electronically visit to discuss various topics with people who are half unbearable bitches and half barely bearable bitches. (Bitches all around, though.)

•You can read various about pages on the About page. About Jorge, About Worthless, About the Classic Worthless characters (Ben, Spencer, Dan, Bradyn, Hass, and Baryd/Stuart—coming soon!), and About the Author, otherwise known as me. Otherwise known as Benjamin Andrew Moore.


I think that's all for now. I'll be blogging and posting new comics regularly, at the very least three times a week (Monday, Wednesday, Friday starting next week). So keep on coming back as often as you'd like. Also, if it's at all possible, please donate any tiny amount of money that you can (there's a button that says "donate" at the top of the page), as it will go toward the upkeep and continuation of this wonderful website. I feel like a dick asking, but the truth is I've done a shit ton of work to get everything to where it is here at Worthless, and that has (unfortunately) required a lot of money on my end, but also (perhaps even more unfortunately) the time and energy it takes to do a “shit ton” of work. In order to keep going here at Worthless-Online, I very much need money to replenish the money that I've lost/will continue to lose, and to make it worthwhile for me to keep making comics, etc.

Certainly, if you don't like this website and do want to see me fail miserably, I can totally understand why you wouldn't want to donate a single dime. More power to you, buddy.

 Cordially yours,

 Benjamin Andrew Moore