Worthless Online
Daily News & Commentary
Benjamin Andrew Moore Etceterasandsuch
Posted by Benjamin Andrew Moore - 1.31.2012
You may have noticed that there has has been a distinct lack of updating here at Worthless-Online. If you'd like to catch up with me on the internet for the foreseeable future, check out my written work over at Screen Rant, my hilarious and aptly-named chest hair blog over at Come Look At My Chest Hair, my personal website, and Verbal Pyrotechnics, a teen literature magazine I co-edit and blog for.

At some point, I may finish the final Worthless story -- and I may even start a new webcomic -- but neither will be happening any time soon. Sorry?

Catch you on the flip side.

Benjamin Andrew Moore Update, Update, Updaaaate!
Posted by Benjamin Andrew Moore - 5.18.2010

I forgot to update for a while because...uhh, whatever!

Anyway, I don't have a comic for you today (not that I won't in the near future or anything), but what I do have is, first:

A video of my hilarious, hilarious, drop-dead-fucking hilarious Thesis Reading from last Friday. I read an excerpt from my yet-to-be-finished but hilarious and awesome and beautiful and brilliant novel, Fat Kid, GO. I don't think I'm understating anything when I say that everybody in that room loved me unabashedly. And now you do, too!




These are my new and improved business cards for selling myself, body and soul. If you would like to purchase either my body or soul (or my skills and services for that matter), refer to said card upward. Thanks.

Next up:

Ben Scott Pilgrim

I wrote a guest blog review for my friends over at Pleasedontreadthisbook about Scott Pilgrim Volumes 1-5. It, also, is hilarious.

And lastly (for now anyway):

Chest Hair

I started a Tumblr Blog about chest hair. I haven't decided yet whether or not this is written from my own perspective or Jorge's. I think it makes more sense that Jorge Jackson would blog about chest hair, but that might just confuse everybody (and lord knows I don't want to do that).

 Especially yours,

P.S. Check out of my new favorite blog, Miss Young and Restless.

Benjamin Andrew Moore Excuses, Excuses
Posted by Benjamin Andrew Moore - 12.22.2009

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Apparently, I was so busy these past couple weeks with school and/or interning and/or beingextreme that I got behind on Worthless, blah-blah-blah. I'm going to skip all the expository bullshit and go straight to the masterful new comic panels I created, if you don't mind. Thanks a billion, bitches.

We have, in no particular order, except for the order that they were produced and posted in: #23, #24, #25, and most importantly (importantly here means recently), #26.

Tiny baby image preview of #26:

Tiny Baby Image Preview

I have this problem all the time. The cab driver's, I mean. Somebody starts talking about how "the sexing is coming here" (perhaps not in those precise words), and my arousal becomes inevitable.

And with that bit of utmost class, I take my motherfucking leave. FYI: Now that I'm on winter break, I'll be considerably less busy, and thus incredibly more capable of making fabulous webcomics for you.

 Until next time, readers.

Benjamin Andrew Moore BACK TO THE GRIND
Posted by Benjamin Andrew Moore - 11.30.2009
Unfortunately, all good Thanksgiving breaks must come to an end.

I'm packing to go back to NYC at the moment, so this is gonna be one of those short sorts of posts. Needless to say, I had a really great time with all my family, my friends, and my pumpkin-flavored desserts, and I'm sad as hell to be heading back to the big city. (Partly because I have a gigantic paper to startyes, startand partly because I have a better family than all you assholes.)

Jorge panel #22 is here to brighten up your post-Thanksgiving experience.

Hey I bet you can't draw as good as this, huh? Try harder next time maybe

You can see why Jorge loves himself so much.

 Until next time, readers.

Benjamin Andrew Moore Black Friday
Posted by Benjamin Andrew Moore - 11.27.2009

Hey there, sweetness. How do?


Clearly, I haven't been posting a whole lot of news posts these past few weeks; that's because I've been fairly busy with things like school, interning, making comics, and coming back to Iowa for Thanksgiving. That said, I've been posting comic panels like nobody's business, as the following links can attest: Jorge Jackson Goes to Hollywood #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, and #21. I hate to be like, hey, look at how fantastic these comic panels are, but seriously.  Look at how fantastic these comic panels are. Are they masterpiece-level of fantastic? I wouldn't put it past me.

I'm sorry to say that I don't have a new comic panel for you on this fine Black Friday, but that's only because I'm in Iowa and the panel is all the way in a place called New York City. Look for it Monday.

In its place I have a preview of an upcoming Jorge Show episode for your viewing pleasure:

The full episode is A) practically finished and B) coming soon. Very soon. Keep an eye out.

 Until next time, readers.

Benjamin Andrew Moore Wednesday, Wednesday
Posted by Benjamin Andrew Moore - 11.11.2009

Wednesday is not my least favorite day. That little wonder of a title goes to Tuesday. (Motherfucking Tuesday...)

BOOM! Jorge Jackson Goes to Hollywood #14 and #15.

I actually posted #14 on Monday, but I didn't post corresponding commentary. Sorry about that. I hope you weren't lost without it.

Soooo, apparently there's a little girl out there who has been sneezing 8 times per minute for the past two weeks.

Experts call this girl the luckiest person who has ever lived. By god, if I could just sit around all day feeling the pseudo-orgasmic pleasure of nonstop sneezing...well, I don't know what I'd do! Retire, maybe.

 Until next time, readers.

Benjamin Andrew Moore O Fortuna!
Posted by Benjamin Andrew Moore - 11.06.2009
Gosh. It's been a bad two days for people killing people.

In somewhat brighter news: Jorge Jackson Goes to Hollywood (Panel) #13.

Also, I was pretty fucking delighted to rediscover one of my favorite webcomics from back in the day: Cup of Suffering. For the longest time, I tried to remember its name but was constantly incapable. I looked for it on Keenspace, or whatever Keenspace is now, but came up short. (It probably doesn't help that I was searching "awesome comic" with "strange, indescribable characters" that "go to hell" and "make me laugh a lot.") Then, last night, I was in the midst of cooking dinner for myself and just remembered the name out of the blue. It's actually no longer active as a comic, but who gives a goddamn? It's  nonetheless amazing, visually and otherwise, and I was deliriously happy to see that new comics had been made since the last time I read it. (It was notorious for its comics being incredibly late.)

Anyway, I permanently added it to the links section. I have a (rather disturbing) fantasy that the creator and I will become great friends and go mountain-climbing together. Maybe in the Swiss Alps!

Last but definitely not least, I stumbled across this video last night, and all I can think is THANK GOD. My girlfriend and I watched it repeatedly for an hour and a half. I laughed so hard I literally cried.  I assumed there was no way it could get any better the second time around, but how wrong I was. O Fortuna, indeed. Check it out!

 Until next time, readers.

Benjamin Andrew Moore The Assholes Were Out in Force This Weekend
Posted by Benjamin Andrew Moore - 11.04.2009

But first, feast your eyes:
Jorge Jackson Goes to Hollywood (Panel) #12.

So, Halloween was good, but like...good in a "I guess I have to settle for this" kind of way. Truly, I miss the days of Halloween when it was about hiding under green tarps in my yard (covered in grass and leaves) before jumping out and scaring impressionable children out of their little brains. I miss the smell of Halloween, the smell of bonfires way off in the distance, the trick-or-treating, the nip in the air, the hot apple cider, the fake haunted houses you had to pay $20 to experience, the over-abundance of candy that is primarily responsible for children's diabetes in this country, and did I mention the motherfucking trick-or-treating?

Whatever. Like I said, it was good. It's just not as purely amazing as it used to be.

Speaking of purely amazing
, as promised, I've got pictures galore of my Halloween costume:

Yeah, Boy-ee
(Benjamin Andrew Moore as (awesome) Jack Burton)

(Laura as a French man; Benjamin being awesome)

(Benjamin being so awesome; Laura as the Chrysler Building; Michael Jackson as Michael Jackson)

(Benjamin continuing his tradition of being awesome)

Frankly, I have more examples of me being awesome, but I just...I don't want to overwhelm you with my own personal brand of awesome. For those fuckers who've never seen Big Trouble in Little China and can't for the life of them understand why I'm wearing lipstick (like so many people on Friday and Saturday night), I refer you to this clip from YouTube:

Whoa, how's that feel? Good, I bet. Good because you're scientifically a better person having watched that wonderful video. Not as good as me or Jack Burton or Kurt Russel or John Carpenter...but you're getting there. You're getting there.

 Spitefully yours,

Benjamin Andrew Moore DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO
Posted by Benjamin Andrew Moore - 11.02.2009

Jorge Panel #11. Yeah. You like it, fuckers. You like it all the way.

I'll probably be back at some point to show you my awesome-town Halloween costume. I just don't feel like doing it now because...well, I've got work to do. So, enjoy the comic panel, and don't get greedy.

Later, later, later.

Benjamin Andrew Moore Fridays Before Halloween Are the Bees Knees
Posted by Benjamin Andrew Moore - 10.30.2009

First and foremost: Jorge Jackson Goes to Hollywood Panel #10.

So, it's the Friday before Halloween, which means I've got another amazing costume that you're jealous of just rearing to go. I'll be dressing as Jack Burton from Big Trouble in Little China, continuing my two-year tradition of going as Kurt Russel characters from John Carpenter movies. Yeah, no, I know you're jealous, you don't have to tell me.

Jack Burton Motherfuckers
(Yes, you're jealous, I think we've already established that!)

My Weekly Comic Book Reading List!

Blackest Night #4: I was a huge fan of Sinestro Corps War, but this shit is spinning its wheels. Perhaps it's because DC spoiled the "big bad" months ago? Well, that's certainly part of it.

Green Lantern #47: This is fantastic and, by the way, not at all in danger of "spinning its wheels." There's forward plot momentum like nobody's business, character interactions that fascinate me to no end, utterly creative surprises out the asshole, and the art...man, I love Mahnke. Like, in a romantic sort of way.

Superman: Secret Origins #2: Speaking of loving the art, Gary Frank is doing a wonderful job here. Despite the fact that this is in continuity, I feel like it's the perfect companion piece to another Superman story I adore: All-Star Superman. Anybody else getting similar vibes? No? Well, that's because you're a big, fat asshole.

Ultimate Comics Spiderman #4: This is the most consistently good comic in all of comics, and this particular issue continues that tradition pretty beautifully.

Ultimate Avengers #3: Interesting, entertaining, but not great.

Ultimate Armor Wars #2: I love Warren Ellis and liked the first issue quite a bit, but this was less impressive, in my opinion. Still good, just not as impressive.

 Vaguely yours,



New Jorge! Archive Forums About (c) BAM Worthless Online Bookmark Feedback